pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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