Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
