Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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