It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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