You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
