Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
