That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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