you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
