ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
