seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
