Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
