They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize