Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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