What a fucking waste of an outfit
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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