How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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