Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
