I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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