This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
