I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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