the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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