Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You're breaking my sexual little heart
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize