just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
