Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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