So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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