im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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