You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
