the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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