his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
