I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
