I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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