There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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