Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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