dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
