; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
True college students do jello shots in the library
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
