your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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