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• (845): View more from New York

  I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

  Fav 37 826 4586

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

  Fav 82 3665 1096

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

  Fav 5 4588 903

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

  Fav 19 5166 1666

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

  Fav 15 2341 6303

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal

  Fav 5 1084 2185

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• (415): View more from California

  You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

  Fav 2 931 753

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  YOU ARE MY HERO

  Fav 8 935 587

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.

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• (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.

  Fav 2 597 427

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick

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