Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober