think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart