I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize