actually, I'm a sock model
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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