Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
