So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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