we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
