i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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