the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
