Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
