found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's official drugs can't kill me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
