If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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