I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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