I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
