Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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