Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
