I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
