u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
