You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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