In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
