The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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