the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
