Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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