We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think your dad took our porno
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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