i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
