I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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