Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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