I wanna bring you to show and tell
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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